Don’t worry, I am going to tell you how to get the attention of your perfect match and keep them interested, but don’t expect this to be a recipe with simple ingredients.
Step 1: Know your heart
If you’ve ever been to a sleepover, in a locker room, or in a bar, chances are you’ve had to describe your ‘type’. Tall, blond, blue-eyed and bearded for instance…
Yes, I should have been a Viking. And I realize I’m projecting, but ignore that. This is about your love interest.
Picture yours. Go ahead, I’m not judging.
Have this bodacious babe/ buff boy in your mind’s eye?
Good, now throw it away.
While a lot can be said about the initial visual attraction, I’m not just talking shallow appearances here. Think subsurface. What qualities are you attracted to?
Everyone values different virtues because everyone has different experiences with love if they are fortunate enough to have even had love.
Someone who has been cheated on and would value honestly more than someone who’s last relationship was too honest and became a friendship.
Ever hear of an old motivational thing called visualization? The idea that if you picture something for long enough, it will manifest?
Yeah, I can feel you rolling your eyes at me.
I know, it seems kinda kookie, but hear me out.
How many of you have seen Final Destination? If you have, then chances are elevators, logging trucks, and these devil contraptions…….
makes you incredibly anxious.
Once you become aware of something, you see it everywhere!
If you take the negativity of harsh death and danger out of the equation (sorry, but it was the best way to get your attention) and replace it with qualities like ambition, honesty, morals, etc, you’ll be more in tune with where these things appear.
Or, you could also focus on qualities you are certain you don’t want, and begin detecting similarities in patterns from other jerks. You’ll become more hypersensitive in detecting this type, ultimately saving yourself a lot of time.
Also, humor me and answer these questions:
Is it possible for someone to match my level of weirdness?
Am I willing to compromise my current routine for someone?
Do I even believe in love?
If you’re already thinking of a person while reading this, maybe check this past article out too, but after you read this one because this is for your own betterment.
Make sure that any old relationships are over in your heart. The past has a way of creeping into the present when you least expect it.
You can’t see the beauty of a flower if you aren’t looking at the garden.
Step 2 Be What You Want
&& I don’t mean the way your kindergarten teacher encouraged everyone to be what you want on career day.
I mean, once you know what you want in someone else, self-reflect.
Would that person want you? Are you on the same level as who you hope to attract?
Everyone is worthy of love, don’t misconstrue my words.
Sorry, didn’t mean to make you sweat it. I promise I wasn’t going on a jerk tirade.
What I mean is, a person who has an outgoing, adventurous, successful, wholesome and full life wants to:
a. Give it up for a Netflix-binging couch potato with a ‘Big Mac’ bod
b. Stay single forever instead of date you.
c. Share it with someone just like them because it is easy to incorporate their lives together on a spiritual, moral, and active level
a……bruhh get real. That is the lamest Cinderella story ever. That’s a Bieber level lame ideology.
b. Ok, girlfriend (or brofriend) you need to stick around for step 3: Confidence.
c. I knew I had a smart audience! Bingo!!!
The key word in the answer is “share”. Seriously, don’t be a rat.
There’s a reason that people say “like attracts like”. (Ignore the fact that opposites attract is a thing because frankly that’s bull in a long term relationship, at least where polar opposites are concerned. That’s material for another blog post.)
Someone who studies hard, breaks a sweat in the gym, travels the world does it to enrich their lives not yours.
This is what they and you should do in a relationship, enrich the life of the person who you are with.
But hey, maybe your soulmate is a Hulu-maniac on a McDonald’s diet? I’m not judging. Find your bliss.
I wish you all the happiness’s that comes with that lifestyle!
I’m just saying that you need to be what you seek to find.
Yeah, I would have actually dropped it, but there’s one more step.
Step 3: Confidence
Anyone anytime, every time will tell you that beauty fades and personality is forever. Own yourself!
The other day in class, we had to choose roles for a mock town hall meeting. As a joke, I asked if I could be Sarah, because I’m good at that. The weight of what I’d said as a bit of light comic relief dawned on me, that’s how we should feel about ourselves.
You should want to be you!
Confidence is just a catalyst for people realizing how amazing you are!
Exhibit A: This guy ……
Vs this guy!
Most of what makes Robert Downey Jr, Robert F-ing Downey Jr. is his confidence.
But Sarah, he’s hot and gotta hella lot more than me. Girls fall at his feet when he walks in a room. He doesn’t have to say a word.
Guess what, doesn’t matter!
Look at Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson),
She owns her every imperfection and turns it into humor!
The reason Oprah is Oprah is because she took what she was given as a humble news anchor and made it her own with insight people didn’t expect from her! Her intellect drew people in and she was confident enough to share!
&& Chantelle Young!
You don’t have to be a size two, have to follow a script, or fit the stereotype to own yourself.
Once you realize your own self-worth, you won’t be vulnerable to someone who can’t.
So if you make eyes at a cutie across the room. Wave him over. Say hello.
Heavens, just fake it ‘til you become it.
Yeah, don’t stop after the world thinks you’re awesome, keep going until you feel awesome!
If you’ve ever had a quality relationship, (hopefully) it wasn’t the visual element that sustained it.
People don’t fall in love with a type, they fall for a feeling.
And if that next relationship doesn’t work out, oh well.
Grab a friend, have some sugar, or go work out. Blow off the steam and then get back in the swing!
Now, leave finding your soul mate up to fate. Just be open to your surroundings while you live your life for yourself. Trust me, the guys/girls will sense your radiant attractiveness.
Not all of them will be on your level, and not all of the good ones will be your soulmate, but that is out of your control. And frankly, those people make for great stories for your grandchildren.
You can only control who you are and how you react.
What better choice is there other than enjoying your life? I suppose you could pretend for the next 50-60 years of your life so you aren’t alone, but is that really the better alternative?
If you’re single, recently out of a relationship, in a doomed relationship, or have never found love, I hope you find some comfort in this. I know I do.
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