Hey Simple && Sweeties,
If you’ve noticed, this is the first ever bikini shoot I’ve modeled for. Ah, talk about pressure.
I was so surprised that the pictures turned out decent to be honest. While I was shooting, I kept imagining that the images only looked good because they were on a mini camera screen. When I’d get them on my laptop, it would be Photoshop city.
Later on, once they were on my monitor, I couldn’t believe how scared I was to see myself. It was almost dread as they loaded from the memory card. Then when I saw them in the raw… I looked okay.
How messed up was my thinking? Why I couldn’t believe that I could ever look decent in a bikini?
Initially, when I was actually satisfied with how the pictures looked, I had this weird feeling that it was too good to be true.
I’m really a fat cow, and I’ve fooled everyone else into thinking I’m a pretty girl.
What a weird thought to admit! I almost can’t believe I thought this now that I’m looking back at the words on my screen. How many other perfectly healthy girls are thinking the exact same thing? Why?
The more I’m exposed to what the modeling industry is actually like, the scarier it seems. If we’re being honest, this is all more like a hobby/ self discovery for me than a job. With every post, I learn more about myself and what people want to see. I can almost guarantee that the main reason you clicked on this blog was to check out my body, whether it be to judge, compare, admire whatever. It probably didn’t even occur to you, unless I know you in real life(…shout out to my friends! Thanks for the love) that I’m a person.
I’m very honest about my body. I’m not a size 2, I’m a size 6….8 in the winter ha. And I’m okay with that! I’m healthy. Most models are 5’10 and taller, and I’m 5’2. I’m small, but my opinions certainly aren’t.
At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I love my body. It’s amazing. It can do yoga, dance, run, and even climb mountains if I want to! Sure, it takes a decent photo, but that shouldn’t be how I decide whether or not to love it.
To me, self love is treating your body like you would your best friend, your child even.
True love is seeing the potential in someone, even if they don’t, and doing your utmost to support their happiness.
Do you want to lose weight, be healthy? Why?
Is it because you love yourself or is it because you want others to love you?
Trying to get other people to love you when you don’t love yourself first is like looking for your keys outside your house when you lost them inside. Sure you’re going through the motions of looking for your keys, but you won’t find them. Because your keys, your happiness, isn’t to be found outside; it’s inside.
If you love yourself like your best friend, you’ll lose the weight. What do you do when you see your dieting girl friend eating a danish? If you verbally attacked her and reminded her this is why she’s fat. This is why she’s single. You’d sure as hell upset and lose that girlfriend because there is no love there. Instead, tell yourself, I’m not going to eat this *fill in fatty food here* because I love my body, and I want to see what it can do! It can lose weight AND SO MUCH MORE!!!
Self love isn’t to be misunderstood with an excuse to be bigger or narcissistic. It’s about looking a what you have for what it is, what it could be, and accepting it.
What I have: a healthy body that does amazing things. What it could be: even better, even more flexible, even firmer. Accepting it: I’m not there, but I could be if I love myself a little more, doubt myself a little less, and accept myself for who I am.
Now say that every morning.
Sure, every once and a while I fall into the doubt trap. It’s a symptom of our society, but like Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world”. And don’t just embody the change. If you see someone who needs a little love, share some of yours. There’s a saying that says lighting another candle does nothing to steal the original’s flame.
Quick Shop This Post
Before I get on my soapbox about self love, body image, and all that loveliness, Let me break down the outfit since that’s what you’re probably here for haha.
As you’ve been able to guess, I love kimonos over swimwear. It’s not exclusively my thing of course, but it’s my thing.
The kimono is fabulous && true to size.
I’m typically a size 6, and I ordered a 6. It falls well below my bum, but well above the knees, so it doesn’t look like a bathrobe.
It’s made of a white chiffon that gives a hint to what is underneath, but does a great job of giving some additional coverage. Since it is so light, it looks great with a slight breeze because it is so gently flowing.
I typically wear it with swimwear, but it’s incredibly versatile. The other day I was wearing shorts that rode up, and this let me get away with wearing them and not be cheeky.
It’s well constructed, and worth more than the $12.99 it’s advertised for. But shh don’t tell the company that haha.
It comes in other colors and sizes too!
The pattern is so much cuter in person than in the Amazon pictures. I was a little apprehensive about this set because sometimes the prints can make it look expensive or cheap. The details are so subtle that it looks like the bikini is more expensive than the $20 price suggests.
It’s extremely rare that I order a Bikini/Swim set and both pieces fit! As you can tell, I’ a little gifted at the top, so I debated buying one size up which would have been an XL size 8, but I ordered the 6 and I love it.
The top is a bit confusing at first because of how the back ties, but once you figure it out, you can tie it yourself! Which is awesome because I doubt my cat would be much help. Its secure and won’t float away in a 90’s cartoon style scenario.
The bottoms are a little cheeky (which is why I’m trying to be sneaky with the placement of my kimono ha), but if you don’t mind this type of cut, it’s not an issue.
Overall, I’d recommend this to anyone anytime!
Would you believe me if I told you I didn’t Photoshop these photos at all? The only thing I did was manipulate the contrast, saturation and the basic things you can do on an Instagram editor.
See? The shoot didn’t go badly at all!
Image is such a powerful thing! It can say more about you than your voice!
Granted, there’s so many issues that accompanies that part of society, but you can turn society’s weakness into your own power. Trust me, my entire blogging business is built upon this. Right now, in your mind I’m fabulous in a bikini with wind in my hair yadayada, but as I type this I’m scarfing down a cherry danish on my couch with a venti-size coffee. My hair looks like the Geico caveman… glamour!
But seriously, the reason I am where I am today is because I’ve accepted the good and ugly about myself. I even lost 10lbs by not obsessively trying to change myself. Just do a little more of what works and a little less of what stresses you out, and everything works out from there. More info on cortisol, the stress hormone here.
One last chance to shop the look:
Thanks so much for the continued love and support my Simple && Sweet family.
For more, follow me on social media. I’m everywhere. Watch my ridiculous life in mini photo blog form, add me on snapchat where I post meals, workouts, and random pretty things I come across 🙂 Username: sarah.berlanga1